My uncle Paul and my love of science fiction and other things

Right at this moment, I feel very much in need of my uncle Paul. Paul was my mum's younger brother. Funnily enough when I was younger, I used to be terrified of him. He never moved out of my Nana and Grandad's house and he had his room at one end of the hall and for some reason that room was a scary place. My younger cousins went through this phase as well for some reason. Maybe it was scary because he usually kept his curtains closed so his room was always pretty dark. It could have been because the door was normally shut and you had to knock and wait for permission before you went in and that was scary. Hell, for all I know it was the beard and the deep, growly voice. We all got over the fear bit. I was first of course because I was older but my other cousins came to invade it as well after a few years. Paul used to say, "I didn't have children so how is it I always seem to have them?"

My parents weren't the best really so home was never a great place to be. I used to read a lot because having a different world was usually a better alternative. My mother was wise enough to get me membership for the library when I was seven so I always had more books to read. I was really interested in the universe at the time and I had five million questions (probably not an exaggeration) and I didn't have an answer to them. Then one day, I braved the knock on the door and discovered that my uncle Paul seemed to know lots of stuff. I ended up finding that he wasn't scary at all so why had I been so silly to think that he was going to eat me or something before that? I still have no idea.

I think a certain German Shepherd dog helped to bridge the gap though. Paul got a puppy from someone he knew over in England. He ended up calling him Valco (my mother could never get this and always called him Velcro) and of course, he needed walking and Paul decided that I should come on these walks. I suppose he wanted to get out of my house and away from my parents, even if it was only for a little bit. We used to go for walks on the grounds of a castle nearby until they brought in these restrictions to do with muzzling dangerous dogs but he wouldn't do it because he thought it was too cruel. We ended up walking on the beach instead. The beach was better to be honest because he could draw in the sand, which was great when I wanted things like planetary orbits explained to me. 

I ended up in my Nana and Grandad's house more often and I never really wanted to talk to them. I'd always say hello, head straight to Paul's room and then say goodbye when I was going. Why on earth did I want to sit with my grandparents while they talked about things that I wasn't interested in when I could be eating shortbread biscuits and drinking Diet Coke? He gave me more books to read from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series and I ended up totally hooked on them. At some stage, I came in while he was watching Battlestar Galactica and ended up glued to it. Spaceships, androids, space, what wasn't to like?

One day, an episode of Stargate SG-1 ended up in the DVD player and that was even better. After that I was completely hooked. He had most of them and then ones he didn't have, he got for me. At first, the DVDs weren't allowed leave the room but when he realised the rate I was powering through them, he started lending them to me. It was as good as the library. I'd caught up by the time the last episodes were coming out in 2007 and I didn't want it to come to an end! It'd watched 10 years worth of Daniel Jackson and Jack O'Neill butting heads, the Sam Carter and Jack thing and then you had Teal'c and well... everything! 

A disc of Babylon 5 episodes was added to my last few episodes of Stargate and so when I finished one, I moved onto the other. 5 seasons later that'd come to an end too and then I ended up watching all of Stargate again. I ended up rewatching B5 as well until I was I was given the first few episodes of Sanctuary when it was still only a web series. Firefly was added to the collection too, the disappointment of it being cancelled after one season something we shared, even if a film was released too. He'd started me on the X-Files when everything went downhill.

I used to like to gabble on about whatever crossed my mind so he was forced to sit through hour long monologues that usually had to do with Harry Potter until he went and read them so that he'd be able to talk back. We both puzzled over the mysteries of the sixth book while we waited for the seventh. He got me into Tomb Raider and let me play GTA: Vice City. He used to make 3D models on his computer, buildings usually, and show me the way he could make doors open and close on them or rotate them. He hammered into my head that the capital of Taiwan was Taipei until I remembered it because why not know it? My best friend used to be able to have a debate with him for hours on end. He was always so sarcastic and one day she told him that "sarcasm was the lowest form of wit" and he replied that "Oscar Wilde said that so he was probably being sarcastic at the time". 

There were just so many little things that all came together to make him my best friend. My real best friend because he always seemed to know what I was thinking, always seemed to understand me when everybody else thought I was completely bonkers. In hindsight, there were so many things about him that my family think that he had Asperger's Syndrome too. If that's true then he's the only person in my family who actually how differently I saw everything around me.

Last week, February 6th would have been his 50th birthday. The week before that January 28th marked the fifth anniversary of his death. Before that he went through 11 months of driving my Nana and Grandad in and out of the hospital where his sister, my aunt Maura, was slowly dying until he had a massive heart attack after coming back one night. Maura spent her last few days thinking that he hadn't been to see her because he'd gotten a new job. She died on February 5th, just 8 days after he did without ever knowing what had really happened to him.

There are so many things I have to remember him by now. I have all my memories, all the things we used to watch together, so much of my desire for knowledge and my openmindedness. I had Valco as a living reminder of so many happy days, someone who grieved for him too, until he had to be put down last August. I've so much of him stored away in my head but it's really not the same.

To Paul.